At this point in time, experts have disproved many of the myths surrounding sexual orientation.
Like the color of your eyes or the shape of your nose, orientation is a trait many are born with or grow into over time.
Maybe in high school, for example, you developed crushes on people of one gender only. In college, you found yourself attracted to people of different genders.
Now, as an adult, you mostly date people of one gender but occasionally feel a flash of sexual attraction for people of other genders.
Does that mean you’re confused? Can’t make up your mind? That your college attractions were just a phase? No, no, and absolutely not.
No one can define your orientation for you, but the concept of sexual fluidity can help explain your experiences.
Sexual fluidity, in short, means your sexual orientation isn’t permanently fixed.
Yes, everyone has an underlying orientation — asexual, pansexual, or heterosexual, for example. Yet there’s room for it to expand a little, based on your experiences and current situation.
It can help to think of orientation as a spectrum that includes people of all genders. Sexually fluid people tend to experience attractions at different points along the spectrum as they go through life.
Maybe you grew up thinking you were only attracted to men, until you had a few flings with people of other genders. After a few years, you felt most attracted to men again, but you couldn’t say for certain whether that would always be the case.
These changes in how you experience romantic and sexual attraction are totally valid.
“Fluidity is an absolutely normal aspect of sexual orientation,” explains Will Zogg, a Washington therapist who specializes in gender affirming counseling.
“Attraction is far more complex than many people can communicate,” says Zogg. “And fluidity and the presentation of sexuality vary widely across cultures, age, access, and region.”
He goes on to say people sometimes interpret fluidity as confusion, or betrayal of an allegiance to a specific community.
“As a result of the stigma around fleeting same-sex attraction and consequences for that ‘betrayal,’ normal feelings of love and sex and curiosity often get swept under the rug, where the limits of Western societal norms keep them hidden,” explains Zogg.
If you’re sexually fluid, you might notice most of your sexual experiences and attractions fit under the label you use to identify yourself.
The key word here is “most,” since you’ll probably have a few outlier experiences that fall elsewhere on the spectrum.
Here’s an example:
You’ve only ever felt attracted to women. Then you develop a close relationship with a nonbinary friend. Your physical and emotional closeness eventually lead to a crush.
You think about kissing, touching, even having sex with them. Maybe you act on those desires, maybe you don’t. Eventually, you spend a little less time together, and your attraction fades, leaving you primarily attracted to women once again.
This one experience may not lead you to redefine your sexual orientation, but it does suggest some fluidity.
Close friendships sometimes fuel romantic feelings that lead to sexual desire, but attraction can exist without you acting on it.
Fluidity, by definition, changes over time, so you could develop a similar attraction in the future.
Though fluidity adds an extra factor in the equation of attraction, it won’t necessarily change your sexual behavior.
“What Westerners refer to as fluidity in sexuality (and in gender) is not a new idea for many cultures,” Zogg notes.
Researchers and anthropologists have explored fluidity across cultures and history. In terms of Western research, this concept has had many names, including erotic plasticityTrusted Source.
The term sexual fluidity comes from the research of psychologist and professor Dr. Lisa Diamond, who drew attention to the concept with her 2009 book, “Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire.”
In theory, yes, anyone can experience this fluidity, but not everyone does. Plenty of people only ever feel attracted to one gender.
While people of any gender can be sexually fluid, existing research suggests women tend to experience the most fluidity. Of course, this doesn’t mean all women are sexually fluid.
“Some sexually fluid men may feel more reluctant to talk about the range of attraction they experience, in part due to gender and sexuality stereotypes,” Zogg points out.
“They might avoid commenting on masculine celebrities they consider attractive, for example, or hesitate to express closeness to a male best friend,” says Zogg.
Most definitely, yes. Attraction, like orientation, is something you can’t control.
You might feel more attracted to one gender for a while, then your attraction might shift elsewhere on the spectrum.
Maybe you choose not to express or act on certain attractions, and that’s OK. All the same, you typically can’t pick and choose what part of the spectrum your attraction settles on at any given point in life.
Sexually fluid people might notice attraction shows up in a range of ways.
You could feel sexually attracted to people of one gender but develop stronger romantic feelings for people of another gender.
Maybe one specific person brings out feelings you’ve never had before. Though their traits don’t align with what you’d normally consider your “type,” you feel drawn to this specific excitement or arousal response.
You might also notice the characteristics that appeal to you in more masculine people are completely separate from the characteristics that you look for in more feminine people.
It’s pretty common to act differently on varying types of attraction.
You might:
These are all valid relationship styles. Just take care to practice good communication!
On the surface, sexual fluidity might seem pretty similar to bisexuality and pansexuality. Remember, though, bisexuality and pansexuality are orientations, and sexual fluidity is not.
Bisexuality doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, but it’s typically recognized as a fairly consistent attraction to two groups: people of your gender and people of other genders.
Some people who identify as bisexual might only feel attracted to people of two genders. Others might develop attractions to people of multiple genders.
Pansexuality, on the other hand, means you might experience attraction to any person, regardless of their gender. In other words, you’re attracted to people of all genders.
You can be both sexually fluid and bisexual or pansexual. For example:
Learn more about bisexuality and pansexuality here.
You might describe yourself as sexually fluid when you generally identify with an orientation that doesn’t consistently represent every attraction you experience.
Say you primarily feel attracted to women, but you’ve had a few relationships with men. You don’t identify as bisexual, but you consider yourself somewhat fluid, since you’re not exclusively attracted to women.
Maybe you’ve never had a romantic or sexual relationship with someone of your gender. Still, straight doesn’t entirely resonate with you as an orientation because you feel open to the possibility of a non-heterosexual relationship. It just hasn’t happened yet.
Generally speaking, sexually fluid people have an orientation that remains roughly stable over time.
So you might use this term if you mostly feel attracted to one gender but want to acknowledge the way your attraction and responses sometimes shift.
As Diamond and other experts have pointed out, fluidity offers a better, more accurate explanation for what people have, in the past, stereotyped and stigmatized as “confusion.”
As you go through life, you gain plenty of experience, both personally and from relationships with others.
This expanding knowledge can have a pretty big impact on self-identity, including your understanding of your orientation.
As awareness of your orientation develops, you might land on a different way of describing your attractions, and that’s just fine. You’re always free to use whatever term you identify with best.
Interested in learning more about sexual orientations and identities?
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who delight in hearing birdsong first thing in the morning, and people who groan, and wish birds had a mute button.
Early birds, also called morning larks, fall into the first category. Most early risers enjoy waking up when the day is young and tend to fade quickly in the evening hours.
Night owls, on the other hand, tend to rise late and stay up late, since they find they’re most productive during the later hours of the day.
Michelle Worley, RN, director of clinical operations at Aeroflow Sleep, explains that the term “night owl” is inspired by the actual animal. The term describes people who have more energy at night and sleep into the day, like nocturnal owls.
The term early bird, says Worley, has its origins in a 17th-century proverb. You probably know the one: The early bird gets the worm.
So, are you an early bird or a night owl? Can your preferred sleeping patterns affect your health? Read on to get the details.
Early birds tend to:
As a general rule, early birds find society more accommodating than night owls do. Early risers generally have an easier time adjusting to standard daytime schedules, which can make it easier to function at workplaces that operate during the day.
In fact, according to a 2012 research review, morning people report higher levels of positive emotions. It’s worth considering, though, that happiness and other positive emotions may come more easily when your sleep pattern allows you to easily nestle into society.
The flip side: Pursuing and maintaining relationships and other social connections might become somewhat more difficult if you have a hard time staying awake past 8 or 9 p.m. — unless you seek out other morning larks, that is.
Night owls tend to:
Being a night owl does have a few downsides. Since most of society is structured around a daytime schedule — like 9 to 5 workdays or daytime school and college classes — late risers might have a harder time holding a traditional job. Young night owls might even have trouble adjusting to a fixed school schedule.
A 2019 studyTrusted Source suggested that night owls may face other disadvantages, too, including increased risk of mental health conditions and metabolic concerns.
Still, while early birds might get the worms, night owls aren’t always left bereft. A preference for the evening hours isn’t always a bad thing, in other words. Plenty of artists, writers, and creative professionals find they get their best work done as the world quietly sleeps around them.
At the end of the day, it matters most that you get the right amount of sleep to maintain good health.
Researchers from a 2020 studyTrusted Source shared that your genetics may help explain whether you favor dawn or dusk. Circadian rhythms might also play a part in determining your sleep chronotype.
Of course, chronotype doesn’t automatically translate to sleep duration, so sleeping for a longer period of time doesn’t necessarily make you a night owl.
Experts still have plenty to learn about sleep, and that includes sleep chronotypes like morningness and eveningness.
The same 2020 studyTrusted Source above explored whether daily smartphone use could help decipher sleep chronotypes. Researchers noted a clear divide among participants who used their phones earlier or later in the day, but many participants didn’t fall into one of the two groups.
The study authors also found:
The research review suggests that ambitious, highly motivated people are more likely to be active earlier in the day. Of course, your personality traits don’t necessarily cause your early rising. You could very well make a habit of rising early because that’s what society requires for success.
A different 2020 studyTrusted Source pointed to an association between sleep chronotype and physical activity. Early risers tended to get more physical activity, while night owls tended to get less. Male night owls also spent more time sedentary.
Study authors didn’t come to any conclusions as to whether physical activity levels can affect your chronotype, or vice versa.
Learn more about sleep chronotypes.
The easiest way to figure out your sleep chronotype? Put your alarm clock away and experiment with when you naturally go to bed and wake up.
You might find it takes several days for your body to settle into its preferred pattern. Eventually, though, you’ll notice you go to bed and wake up at around the same general time.
A 2012 research review suggested, though, that most people probably fall somewhere between the two chronotypes.
According to a 2021 research review on the genes that wind our body clocks, we may eventually have more control over our sleep patterns.
But for the moment, those interventions remain a distant dream, and no magic pill will make it easier for night owls to get out of bed in the morning.
Worley explains that changing your sleep pattern can make for a difficult transition, one that requires both changes in your typical sleep behaviors and patience as you make the switch.
If you want to adjust your sleep schedule, the key often lies in making changes in increments.
Additionally, your sleep pattern can change as you age. As you enter middle age and older adulthood, you may find yourself becoming more of an early riser.
Quality sleep plays an essential role in physical and mental well-being, whether you love staying up until the wee hours of the night or thrive on early morning sunshine.
If you can’t seem to get enough restorative sleep, a doctor or sleep specialist can offer more guidance on possible causes and help you explore options for improving your sleep.
Steph Coelho is a freelance writer with chronic migraine who has a particular interest in health and wellness. When she’s not click-clacking away on her keyboard, she’s probably nose-deep in a good book.
While you can control your genetics, taking charge of your overall health can help lower your risk of developing many conditions down the line.
Some men have the misconception that if they seem healthy, they don’t need to visit a doctor. But getting regular checkups and health screenings can catch many diseases in the early stages or before they develop.
This guide will give you the rundown on the types of preventive care you can receive to keep you healthy at each stage of your life.
Generally speaking, men in their 20s and 30s have fewer health issues than older men. Building healthy habits when you’re young can help you decrease your odds of developing health problems when you get older.
Healthy habits to add to your regimen may include:
Even if you don’t have any known health concerns, it’s still a good idea to visit a doctor for regular checkups. Most people under age 50 should get a medical checkup at least once every 3 years.
During a checkup, the doctor will check things like your:
Many young men are living with anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions. If you’ve been experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition, it’s also a good idea to talk with a doctor about an evaluation.
Many men become sexually active during their teen years or in their 20s. Get tested for sexually transmitted infections if you’ve had sex without a condom or other barrier method, especially with a new partner.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that everybody between ages 13 to 64 should get at least one routine HIV test. People with frequent partner changes should get tested more often.
When you take advantage of regular checkups, a doctor can help you assess your risk of future medical problems. They’ll also screen you for medical issues you may not know you have.
With weight gain being more common in your 40s, you may be more likely to develop health conditions such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Continuing healthy habits like exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet can help prevent these conditions.
Most people need to connect with a healthcare professional more often in their 50s than when they were younger. Generally, visit a doctor at least once per year for a routine checkup, even if you don’t have any specific health concerns.
When you’re in your 50s, many types of cancer become more common and your immune system may not work as well as it used to. Getting all your necessary vaccines and taking steps to avoid infection can help you stay healthier longer.
It’s common for men to have trouble maintaining a moderate weight as they get older. Continuing with healthy exercise and dietary habits is still necessary. But a slower metabolism might make attaining your weight goals harder.
Many men over age 60 also have some degree of hearing or sight loss. If you find you’re having trouble hearing or seeing, it’s a good idea to visit an ear or eye doctor for an exam.
The CDCTrusted Source currently lists heart disease as the leading cause of death in the United States. Your risk of heart disease increases with age, but keeping your cholesterol and blood pressure under control can help reduce your chances of developing it.
Men age 70 and over tend to have weaker immune systems than younger men, so it becomes even more important to get your annual flu shot.
While men typically have a lower risk of developing osteoporosis than women, the National Osteoporosis Foundation recommends that men over age 70 get a bone density test.
The Affordable Care Act requires all insurance companies to cover preventive health services recommended by the USPSTF without a deductible or copayment unless your plan is grandfathered in.
If you don’t have insurance, you can find low-cost healthcare at community health clinics in your area. You can search for community health clinics here.
While you can’t control your genetics, you can reduce your risk of developing many diseases by getting all your recommended health screenings and vaccines. Even if you’re healthy, it’s a good idea to visit a healthcare professional regularly for checkups.
Men under age 50 with no particular health issues may only need to get a checkup once every 2 to 3 years. It’s generally a good idea for older men to visit a doctor at least once each year for routine tests.
Watching frightening films can give you much more than a good scare, they can also help relieve stress and anxiety. (Yes, really.)
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Feel better after watching a scary movie? You’re not alone in the dark. Art by Wenzdai Figueroa
Monsters under the bed, zombies rising from the grave, and chainsaw-wielding maniacs aren’t exactly the first things that come to mind when one is trying to conjure soothing images.
Yet, for many horror movie aficionados, part of the draw of fright cinema is finding a certain degree of comfort nestled within the thrills and chills.
But, lest you raise an eyebrow at the notion of finding reprieve in the genre of blood-curdling screams, know that there’s not only validity to the idea… there’s precedent.
In an interview for the documentary “Fear in the Dark” (1991), acclaimed director Wes Craven (“A Nightmare on Elm Street“, “Scream”) famously stated that “horror films don’t create fear, they release it.”
Though succinct in delivery, Craven’s message nonetheless spoke to a layered truth: Our engagement with the things that frighten us can be its own form of catharsis.
More than just the embodiment of the time-honored chestnut of “facing your fears,” the contained adrenaline of a horror movie might actually be good for some viewer’s frame of mind.
Indeed, the beneficial qualities of fright flicks has become such an engaged topic of late, even the Mistress of the Dark herself, Elvira, got in on the action with a recent Netflix promo that cast her as fright therapist offering to “prescribe” horror movies for what might ail you.
Of course, part of the fun of digging into the discussion of horror’s beneficial nature is knowing that for a great number of years (and to many still), there were those in academia who saw no benefit to the genre at all.
“In the 30s, there was a lot of anxiety about what people consumed and whether it transformed them — especially children,” said Andrew Scahill, PhD, an assistant professor in the English department at the University of Colorado Denver and the author of “The Revolting Child in Horror Cinema.”
“There was a worry over what people get titillated by in the horror genre,” Scahill said. “Early criticism on film came from this place where horror cinema was seen as enabling sadism, essentially — that it gave flesh and body to fantasies that should not be reinforced.”
But as film continued to impact popular culture, scholars began to change their consideration over how it was received.
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Building resilience scream by scream
Initially thought of as a passive activity, critics and academics took note of the fact that the filmgoing audience instead operated as active receptors to the material presented to them. Thus, their engagement with darker material might actually speak to a deeper need beyond surface titillation.
“Thinking about what [horror] offers us, how could that be in any way pleasurable? Why would we subject ourselves to negative affect? It seems counterintuitive to any evolutionary picture of humanity,” Scahill said. “Today, we have what we would call ‘surrogacy theory,’ which essentially says horror films allow us, in a way, to control our fear of death by giving us a surrogate experience.”
“Our body is telling us we’re in danger, but we know that we’re safe in these cushy theater seats,” Scahill added. “Allowing yourself to be triggered in a safe environment can actually be a process of therapy.”
According to Kurt Oaklee, MA, MFT, founder of Oaklee Psychotherapy in San Francisco, California, the audience’s surrogate experience with horror films is akin to the practice of exposure therapy, wherein a patient is presented with stressors in a controlled environment to reduce their impact over time.
“[Horror] can actually teach us how to handle real-world stress better,” Oaklee said. “During a stressful film, we are intentionally exposing ourselves to anxiety producing stimuli. We usually don’t engage in the same unhealthy coping mechanisms that we utilize in real life. We learn how to manage the stress in the moment. This practice can translate to helping us manage everyday stressors and fears.”
Admittedly, the concept of using horror films as a “contained trigger” to affect a form of release may just be one of the ways audiences are looking to horror films as a means of catharsis.
For marginalized individuals, horror’s active engagement with the concept of otherness may serve as a message of empowerment.
For others, horror’s ability to use metaphor and give tangible flesh and body to subconscious fears might allow those things to be conceptualized and compartmentalized.
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Horror movies can help us face our fears
Intrigued by horror’s potential to empower, filmmaker Jonathan Barkan set out to explore the genre’s engagement with mental health in a forthcoming documentary on the subject, aptly titled Mental Health and Horror.
Barkan says he recognized the genre’s cathartic malleability early on while dealing with the real-life tragedy of his sister’s battle with cancer.
“I just knew that there was some faceless, invisible monster that was attacking her,” Barkan said of the experience. “Horror became a way to face that monster and, more importantly, to see that monster, that evil, vanquished.”
Galvanized by the genre’s ability to promote empathy and face down the ineffable monsters of our daily lives, Barkan’s exploration of how others use horror to heal and grow speaks to the wider impact of our engagement with these movies that are so often dismissed as having little moral value.
“I’ve learned that so many people see and use horror in so many different, unique, and beautiful ways to help their mental health,” Barkan said. “The ways that we engage with horror are as diverse and amazing as the genre itself.”
Feeling fear in a safe space can be a big relief
And, as it turns out, turning to horror movies for relief isn’t just for the die-hards (pun intended).
According to Business Insider, in May of 2020, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, horror sales on the digital movie app Movies Anywhere were up 194 percent from the previous May. At a time when the world was facing horrors of its own, audiences still looked to genre material for escape.
Global crisis notwithstanding, Oaklee believes this uptick in the hunger for horror cinema makes perfect sense.
“It’s not unusual for people to be drawn to thrillers or horror movies in times of high stress,” he said. “Horror movies force you to be hyper-focused. The ruminating, anxious mind is no longer spinning out on the stressors of the world. Instead, your body is in fight-or-flight mode, and nothing matters except the terrifying monster on the screen. During a global pandemic, that is very inviting.”
In fact, Oaklee pointed to a 2020 study published in the journal NeuroImage, which found that scary movies can indeed trigger our body’s fear circuit, producing a “fight or flight” response just as a frightening event in real life can.
Because of this, Oaklee noted that horror movies can negatively affect some people, particularly those who are more sensitive to anxiety, as what they’re watching on screen can increase feelings of stress and panic.
But for others, he said the continual building and release of tension that’s a core part of the horror-movie viewing experience, can help relieve stress from their everyday life, leaving them feeling more empowered and resilient when the credits roll.
So, if you’ve ever turned to Dracula, Freddy, or any other manner of phantom for a small measure of comfort after a long day, know that you’re not alone.
Astute pop culture historians have long noted horror’s ability to use the dark lens of the fantastic to confront contemporary issues (ex. Frankenstein tackling the “God vs. science” debate of the day, Godzilla being a direct response to the use of atomic weapons, etc.), and mercifully have also begun to recognize its propensity for healing.
Of course, beyond the allegory and psychology of fright, it’s also just plain fun.
Sometimes, the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to check out of the real world and check into something that brings a smile… and possibly a scare or two along the way.